Megan (me) – The Alternate Seven Dwarfs

Me: “Sleepy… Happy… Bashful… Doc… God I can’t remember…”
David: “Sneezy, I remember there is a sneezy in there.”
Me: “Yes! Sleepy, Sneezy, Happy, Bashful… and Doc. Jesus there’s two more. Sleepy Happy… Sneezy… OH! DUMPY AND GROPEY!”
David: “::laughs:: WHAT?”
Me: Wait no! Grumpy and Dopey! Grumpy and Dopey!”

-Me, to David

Heidi – Christians and Ham

Heidi: “It’s too spicy..”
Megan: What? It’s just like my grandmother used to make.”
Me: “I somehow don’t think your grandmother used a lot of habanero hot sauce…”
Megan: “You didn’t know my grandmother.”
Heidi: “Yeah well, my grandmother was a Christian, so she only made ham okay?”

-Heidi, to David, Megan and myself.

Jube – Papa John

“Have a smoke with Papa John!
C’mon lassie…
I’m not paying you to sit around!
Drop the glass, and come have a smoke with Papi.
There are eggs in my glass… like EGG NOG!
Or Bean Sake… no, like the Japanese drink dammit!”

-Jube, to Heidi

Jube – Drive the Truck

“Drive the truck faster David!
Avoid the chicken to your left…
::he makes a tires squealing and car crashing noise::
Run free!
Various auto parts, air fresheners, Native Americans…
…Turkeys…
Spaghetti volcano, fountain of gravy, potato chip tornado…
Weeeeenieeeeee…”

- Jube, soliloquizing to the general population of the room
(It should also be noted that we were stationary at a basement party when he said this)